I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
