You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
