Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
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I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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