remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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