I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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