I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
