ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
