ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
