Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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