i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
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What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
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I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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