I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
