HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
