She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
