sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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