Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
