Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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