he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
