I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
