I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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