what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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