I just saw a hot homeless man
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
