I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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