She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
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Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
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I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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