My balls are so social today.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
