You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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