I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i've created a new STD.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
