she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
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Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
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Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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