dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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