ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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