i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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