We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
