Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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