just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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