so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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