I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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