Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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