Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
