I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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