there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
