Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
