Its about making memories worth repressing
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
