Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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