Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize