Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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