We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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