I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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