I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
