so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
