moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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