bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
