Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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