you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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