physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
