The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They took my balls.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
