The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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