: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
