tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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