i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize