She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
