I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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